


Inner Darkness (Parts I & II)

by fireflysglow_archivist



Category: Firefly
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-12-13
Updated: 2002-12-13
Packaged: 2019-04-29 07:13:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14467641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fireflysglow_archivist/pseuds/fireflysglow_archivist
Summary: Serenity is stuck in a remote planet.  Mal and Kaylee get stranded in a ghost town.  Jayne and Zoe go to their rescue.  Will they get to them before it is too late?





	Inner Darkness (Parts I & II)

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Firefly’s Glow](https://fanlore.org/wiki/Firefly%27s_Glow), and was moved to the AO3 as part of the Open Doors project in 2018. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are the creator and would like to claim this work, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Firefly's Glow collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/fireflysglow/profile).

 

Inner Darkness (Parts I & II) - New & Improved!

## Inner Darkness (Parts I & II) - New & Improved!

### by goldenthorn74

Title: Inner Darkness   
Author: Goldenthorn (goldenthorn74@yahoo.com) Featuring: Mal, Kaylee, Inara, Wash, Jayne, Zoe, River, Simon Category: Mal / Inara (romance) - Mal / Kaylee (brother / sister ship) Rating: R (for violence and adult situations) Summary: Serenity is stuck in a remote planet. Mal and Kaylee get stranded in a ghost town. Jayne and Zoe go to their rescue. Will they get to them before it is too late? Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and FOX do. I am just doing this for fun taking advantage of the show being on break. Not making a dime out of it. Hey! Everybody copes their own way. Acknowledgement: A very special thanks to Nola999 for her patience, help and support. Her feedback and suggestions were a life saver, thank you so much! Feedback: It is my first story ever, so it would be greatly appreciate it. Be brutal!! 

It was dark. The thick scent of liquor, burnt flesh, sweat and dust filled the air. Lying on his back, he could barely command his sore limbs to move. His mind was still clouded by blurry images of people running, screaming, dying... He tried to stir again and felt the weight of a body on top of him. The dust was so thick in the air, his eyes burnt as if a thousand microscopic razors were scratching them. There was a humming noise in the background, or was it just his ears ringing? He tried to get a hold of reality. Wake up, he told himself. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. Wake up. He kept repeating it like a mantra inside his head. Slowly, he started remembering the horrifying recent events and panic threatened to overtake him. 

"Kaylee..." he tried to speak, but his mouth and throat were so dry he only managed a hoarse whisper. 

"Kaylee!" he tried again a little louder. No response. 

It was dark and musky, the air so heavy it made it hard to breathe. Mal rolled over to his side, the small body of a young girl rolling in turn with his. Trying not to make a sound, he embraced her and shielded her body with his. She was breathing. There was a warm, sticky liquid impregnating both their bodies. Mal recognized the texture from his vivid memories of the war. It was blood. He wasn't sure whose blood it was, the adrenaline that suddenly started pumping through his veins did not allow him to feel any pain. 

His eyes were getting used to the penumbra and he could now see Kaylee's face. She looked peaceful, almost happy. Mal braced himself for the worst while he tried to think of a plan to get them both out of there safely, away from that place, away from the reavers... 

* * *

"Any sign of them yet?" Inara was standing at the entrance of the bridge. She rarely wandered about Serenity except for her own private shuttle and the common areas. 

Wash looked at her with a tired expression in his eyes and shook his head. Inara broke eye contact--scared the pilot might actually see through her--find her weakness. A companion must keep her composure at all times, but at the present time she felt her emotions wavering too near the surface. She couldn't allow that to happen--she couldn't let her feelings overtake her in front of Wash. 

"I'll be in my shuttle" she whispered still not looking at him. She was almost out the door. 

"They'll be back in 30 minutes." He was looking out the cockpit window, Inara turned to him quizzically without saying a word. 

"Zoe and Jayne..." he continued absentmindedly. "I'm sure they'll have answers when they get back" he tried to reassure her. She gave him a small smile and left. 

* * *

"I told ya landin' in this gorram place was a bad idea." Jayne was standing on top of a sand dune, tooth pick in mouth, right hand resting on his holstered gun. Zoe looked at him slightly annoyed but said nothing. 

"It's gettin' dark" he continued, looking at the setting sun in the horizon. Zoe got up on the land transport and signaled him to hop on. 

"C'mon, we best check out the town before the sun sets." 

"Whaa...? Are you outta your ruttin' mind?!" He turned around to face her. "That place is crawlin' with reavers. Ain't no way I'm goin' down there--not in a million years! I'm..." he could not finish the sentence before Zoe cut him off. 

"Finding the Cap'n and Kaylee is the only way we'll be able to get out of here alive. Serenity will not be able break out of the atmosphere without the part. I'm sure they were able to make the trade, we just need to find them." Dead or alive, she thought, but did not say it out loud. Jayne looked at her frowning, clenching and unclenching his jaw as if making the decision was causing all his nerves to tense up. 

He looked down at the small town nested in the valley between a series of hills and dunes. Smoke enveloped the rubble of houses, taverns and small businesses that were once the home of a small village of ship component traders. The scent of death was being carried by the chilling evening air. Above the massacred village, Jayne focused on the quiet night sky. He sighed and jumped on the land transport reluctantly. 

"Gorramit!" 

The transport hummed down the hill towards the ghost town. 

* * *

Mal felt Kaylee stirring below him and he moved to leave her room to turn. Her breathing became a little more elaborate and she moaned in pain. Slowly, the young mechanic opened her eyes and turned her face to find her captain looking down at her. Mal was lying on his side, very close to her one arm protectively across her chest. His right hand was resting on her left shoulder. 

"Where...?" she started speaking, but he quickly indicated that she shouldn't talk. 

"Shhh..." he softly whispered near her ear. Kaylee looked up at him with scared eyes and he desperately hoped she did not remember the events that took place in the past few hours. 

"Kaylee, listen to me very carefully" he started, barely audible. "We need to get outta here sooner rather than later, but I am gonna need your help to get us the hell out. Dong-ma?" Kaylee nodded her eyes open wide. He looked down at her body. "Can you move your legs?" She nodded again. He briefly examined her condition to make sure she wasn't seriously hurt. 

"We're gonna need to crawl from under this rubble." Slowly Mal started moving toward a clearing. When he was almost free from the debris he stopped to listen carefully before emerging to what used to be the town's tavern. Once he was out, he signaled Kaylee to follow him. There was an uncomfortable feeling nagging at the captain's mind--they were alive. It didn't make any sense. Reavers rarely--if ever--left any survivors. He was still pondering about the situation when Kaylee emerged from under the pile of debris, moving slowly and wearily. The scene she saw all around overwhelmed her and made her gasp in horror. Patches of dry blood decorated the walls, ceiling and broken furniture. Pieces of flesh were scattered about all over the place. Limbs and body parts carpeted the floor and the stench of decay impregnating the air was making her stomach turn. Before she could help it, Kaylee bent down and threw up. Mal approached her from behind and bent down to put his palm on her forehead, allowing her to calm down before moving on. She was shaking and tears were running down her face. 

After a few minutes he told her firmly. 

"Look at me." She turned to him slowly, face pale and clammy. "Now is not the time to panic. We just need to make it to Serenity before the sun goes down." She was shaking and just looked at him blankly. She is in shock, he thought. 

"Follow me" he whispered. They started moving across the room very slowly trying to avoid stepping onto anything other than the ground. It was hard to do considering the mess that had been created. They tried to make it to a nearby window without making a sound, but occasionally the floor would crack under their step making them stop and stand very still. They would listen carefully for anything that might hamper their escape. It took them several minutes to make it to the opened window; Mal looked around the deserted street assessing the situation. Coast clear. This is too easy. This can't be... too easy... 

"Cap'n?" Kaylee seemed a little bit calmer and was now looking at him questioningly. 

Suddenly, like a ton of bricks, it dawned on him and a new wave of adrenaline started rushing through his body. He squatted down, elbows on knees resting his forehead on his closed fist and murmured through clenched teeth "Goser!" 

"What, what is it? Kaylee kneeled down beside him. Mal raised his head and looked at her sadly. 

He could not tell her what he had just realized, nor the grim reality of the situation. It was simple. How could he have not realized it before? They were being _hunted_. 

* * *

"Did ja hear that? Jayne swiveled on his heals in a sharp move, gun in hand. 

"Jayne?" Zoe called him from what looked like an abandoned convenience store of some sort. 

"Shhhh!!" Jayne stayed perfectly still with his head cocked to one side as if the action would allow his hearing to pick up sounds better. "I hear footsteps!" 

Zoe tried to concentrate on the sound. Nothing. 

"Jayne, I think you're hearing thi..." she couldn't finish the sentence before a dark creature jumped out of the shadows and knocked her to the ground scratching her on the shoulder. Jayne aimed at the moving mass that was retreating back into the darkness and fired. He missed it miraculously. The thing disappeared into the shadows. 

"Did you see what it looked like?" Zoe panted already standing next to Jayne, who was still looking in the direction where the creature had vanished. 

"Hell no, ruttin' thing was fast as the wind" he said turning to her. 

"You ok?" he nodded at her bleeding shoulder. 

"Just a scratch" she answered with a shrug. She started walking towards the transport. 

"Next time bring Vera" she said over her shoulder. 

* * *

"We need to think about our next move carefully." Mal was checking the number of rounds left in his gun. "It's a game. We need to be smarter than them." 

Kaylee looked out the window, wondering what kind of evil could have caused the massacre they just witnessed. They were silent for several minutes, Mal trying to decide the best course of action, Kaylee trying not to let her fear get the best of her. 

"You're bleeding" she finally said with a small voice. Mal followed her eyes to the left side of his abdomen where a bright red stain was impregnating his tanned shirt. 

"It's nothing." He said simply not even feeling the pain, although it must have been a fairly deep wound judging from the amount of blood. "Kaylee, I want you to follow my every step as quietly as possible. Once we are out on the street we'll be an easy target, so we need to be invisible. "Are you ready?" 

"Yes Cap'n." He looked straight into her eyes wishing he could just send her to safety only by sheer will. He took a deep breath and walked out on to the deserted street. Kaylee followed closely, and they both started walking towards the nearby hills trailing slowly and as close to the building walls as they possibly could. 

Easy targets, Mal thought wearily. Gorram hills were at least two miles away--two miles without cover--two miles unprotected. 

All of a sudden, an inhuman scream tore through the air breaking the deathly silence. It was as if the doors from Hell itself had just burst open. Mal's blood froze in his veins, the hairs in the back of his neck raising. He turned, hand on his holstered weapon, and saw Kaylee pale as a ghost, frozen in place. She was looking towards a figure not quite two blocks from where they were. It was getting dark, Mal could not see very clearly, but from its movements the captain recognized it unmistakably as a reaver. 

* * *

"What the Hell??!!" Jayne exclaimed turning toward the infernal yell. Zoe clasped her gun tightly, muscles tensed. 

"Lets go, we don't have much time." She told the tall mercenary firmly. 

"What? Why? What the Hell was that?" 

"That was the scream of a reaver waiting to attack. It's calling the pack for a kill, which means someone is alive over there and we need to get to them before the reavers do." 

Jayne reached into the supply box in the rear of the transport and recovered a long, machinegun looking weapon. Gulping, he grumbled "Let's go!" 

* * *

River woke up screaming. "They come when it's dark! They come out of the shadows!" 

"River?" Simon Tam was at her sister's side at once trying to calm her down. "It's just a nightmare, River, settle down. You're safe..." 

"NO!! They are evil! They won't let them leave!" the teenager was crying, terrified. The young doctor held his sister in his arms while she continued to cry, mumbling unintelligible words. 

* * *

Mal stepped in front of Kaylee and aimed at the figure approaching. He only had 6-7 rounds left in his gun. Before he could pull the trigger, he saw movement from the corner of his eye. Another figure came out from one of the alleys and was now getting closer. This figure moved at the same pace as the first one. He turned around to find out another two coming from the opposite side of the street. Looking up, some others were crawling on the roofs of the few standing buildings. They were surrounded. Behind him, he could hear the young girl starting to hyperventilate. His mind was racing trying to think of a way out knowing full well that the ammo would not be enough to keep all the predators off. 

The first creature got within ten feet of where they were and they could now make out his features. Its face had been mutilated with a nasty pattern of burns and scratches throughout his cheeks and scalp. Blotches of burnt hair were sticking out in all directions, not doing a very good job of covering the bald spots throughout its cranium. Several pieces of metal were protruding from its nasal cavities, mouth and ears, and one of its eyeballs was missing, leaving behind an empty socket drooping to one side. Its movements were uncoordinated, almost clumsy, and the way he walked reminded Mal of a wounded hyena. 

The creature looked into Malcom's eyes and screamed once more, creating a deafening sound that resonated through the small town like high pitched thunder. Mal pulled the trigger and the abomination fell to the ground. Its screams died with it shortly after. 

As the reavers closed in, Mal started shooting. He was praying to a God he did not believe in to get Kaylee out of there alive. The captain had fought in many bloody battles and had faced death countless times before, along with people from his crew or battalion. He was a good leader, and people under him always respected him, some even feared him. His ways could be regarded as crude, bordering on cruel even, but in the end his cold demeanor and strict rationalism had saved lives. He always managed to detach himself from people around him, knowing exactly how emotions could betray a leader, make him weak. 

Somehow Kaylee had managed to sneak under his radar. He felt protective of her. Slowly over time, he had begun to feel like an older brother looking out for a young and reckless little sister. Now those feelings were probably going to cost them their lives. Damn! Why did he have to bring her to this town in the first place? Wash would have known the model of the part they needed to get Serenity up on the air again. 

Focus, he told himself, slowly losing the little hope he had left in him. 

Mal had already killed seven reavers when he pulled the trigger once more and a dry 'clicking' sound indicated his weapon had run out of ammo. He turned around and hugged Kaylee pressing her face against his chest, desperately trying to spare her from the inevitable. 

Just when the creatures were close enough to hear them breathing, a roaring sound startled all of them and a strong blinding beam of light shone on them from their right. Gun shots started wheezing by and a cloud of dust enveloped the captain and young mechanic to the point of making them both cough. Seconds later they heard Jayne's voice calling them to their right. 

"C'mon! We ain't got all gorram night!" 

Never in a million years would Mal have thought that hearing the big thug's voice would bring him such bliss. Leading Kaylee to the land transport, he made a mental note to speak to shepherd Book about the power of prayer. Inwardly he chuckled at a funny thought--first I feel bliss at hearing Jayne's voice, then I want to discuss religion with a preacher, yeah, I am definitely ready for therapy. 

The transport sped out of town leaving the angry reavers behind in the lonely village. The reavers didn't follow for long; after all, they knew their victims would be back. It wouldn't take long.... 

* * *

"She hasn't said one word since we left town" Mal told Simon concern shadowing his features. 

"She is in shock" the doctor said while he examined her. "Her temperature has dropped, pupils are dilated and she seems unresponsive." He was speaking in a very clinical, detached tone. "There doesn't seem to be any external or internal physical trauma" he said. He was now examining her joints and back with a scanning device. "She should be fine." Physically anyway, he thought. "Now she needs to rest." 

He helped her hold the cup with an orange liquid inside. Sitting up on the bed Kaylee drank the concoction slowly; the bitter taste of the medicine didn't seem to bother her. The doctor gently pushed her back into a lying position, and she found comfort between the warmth of the covers. Minutes later she succumbed to a restless sleep full of nightmares. 

Simon turned to Mal. "Take off your shirt." 

The taller man looked at him puzzled, wondering what the doctor might be talking about. 

"That wound is probably going to require stitches and there is a risk of infection." 

The captain looked down, realization dawning on him. He obediently sat down on the bed opposite to Kaylee's. Normally he would have put up more of a fight, but he was exhausted and in no mood to argue with the young doctor who, in medical matters, could be just as stubborn as he was himself. After Mal was patched up by the doctor, he got up and started walking towards the hallway. 

"Where are you going?" Simon asked. "You need to stay overnight for observation, I'm not so sure..." 

"There are things I need to do first, doctor." 

Mal cut him off exiting the infirmary. Simon turned to Kaylee and saw her stir in her sleep. He sighed in resignation. 

* * *

"Are you sure all gates are secured?" Zoe turned to Wash after checking out the surroundings from the cockpit window. It was dark now outside, and she couldn't have been able to see anything lurking in the shadows. She watched anyway. 

"Locked tight, not to worry." The pilot answered leaning against the chair and looking questioningly at his wife. "How is your shoulder?" 

"Peachy!" She said with a curt smile. She saw a trace of defeat on her husband's face and tried to put him at ease. "Honey, you don't need to worry, I am fine" she added in a softer tone. 

"What did you guys see out there?" he asked, knowing she was going to find a way to evade the question anyway. He knew her well, and could tell she was in one of her "don't ask, don't tell" kind of moods. She just looked at him and said nothing. 

"Boy, you guys have been mighty quiet ever since you came back... without the part, might I add." Zoe didn't say anything, so he continued speaking, not because he wanted to get anything out of her, but because he hated sitting in silence in moments like this. "You know what I found strange, is how Jayne went straight to his bunk without making any funny remarks about the doctor. He missed a perfect opportunity too. I was about to make a funny remark for him myself." 

Silence--his humor was falling flat. He was really getting nowhere. Turning serious he finally sighed "I could try to re-start the main computer to see if it recognizes the backup thrusters this time, but there is no way..." he paused and sighed. "Look, I don't want to be Mr. Bottle Half Empty here..." 

"Then don't" Mal retorted from the doorway. "Are the shuttles working?" 

"You should be resting, sir" Zoe told him flatly. Mal looked at her and, for a second, he could detect a trace of worry in her second-in-command's-normally-austere face. He sighed and continued "If we could use one of the shuttles to get to Hera, maybe we could find the parts we need to get Serenity airborne again. "Mal knew a farmers' town like Hera was a long shot in the dark, but they needed to try everything at this point. 

"Shuttles are working fine." Wash said. "Have enough fuel to get to Hera and back." What he did not say was that they might not find such a specialized part in a place like Hera. After all, farmers would rarely come across a firefly class ship. He knew Mal was thinking the same thing, but he also knew the captain would try anything, no matter how unlikely the outcome, to get out of a screwed up situation like the present. 

"At any rate" Zoe interjected "there is nothing we can do until tomorrow, sir. You go rest and we'll hold up the fort." 

Mal nodded. Resting didn't sound half bad at this point. 

Malcom stopped by his bunk to grab a quick shower, and the warm water did wonders to relax his sore muscles. He was acutely aware of the wound to the side of his abdomen. At this point, his nerves were starting to relax and the events of the day were now a terrifying memory. His thoughts wandered to Kaylee. How could he have put her in such danger? He tried to convince himself there was no way they could have foreseen that the town they ordered the part from would be infested with reavers. 

Seemed like a safe enough place away from any chance encounter from the Alliance. Guilt, however, kept crawling back into his mind. He switched off the water and placed his forehead on the cool wall of the chamber feeling the fresh air dry the water off his body. 

He held back the tears threatening to fall down his face. He could not break down, not now, not ever! 

* * *

Simon was making a cot for himself in the corner of the infirmary when Inara walked in. 

"How is she doing?" the companion asked grabbing the young girl's hand. The doctor looked at his patient. 

"She should be fine." 

"I'll stay." Inara looked at Simon firmly. "I'll watch over her tonight. You go rest. I'll wake you if we need you." 

"We'll take turns. I'll be back to check on her at 3am." Inara smiled at Simon in consent. 

As Simon was exiting, he saw the captain leaning against a metal structure outside the in the common area. The taller man looked positively exhausted and pale, and seemed to have trouble breathing. 

"Captain?" Mal looked up to see the doctor looking worriedly at him and tried to smile in reassurance. 

"Goin' to..." he pointed at the infirmary and tried to speak again "...observation." He took a step forward and nearly lost his balance. Simon held him as best as he could and led him to the spare bed next to Kaylee's. Inara saw them coming in and rushed to Mal's side to help Simon prep the bed. Mal wasn't sure if he lost consciousness before or after he was tucked in. 

Darkness claimed him, wrapping around him like a silky blanket. 

* * *

Kaylee was smiling at him from the other bed. Mal thought there was something strange about her smile--something not quite "Kaylee" about it. It didn't reach her eyes. Her eyes... she was looking at him as if he was a stranger. He tried to say something, but he could not get the words out. Then Kaylee opened her mouth to speak and blood started gushing from her mouth--nostrils--eye sockets.... 

Mal woke up with a start, sweating and out of breath. He felt a cool cloth on his forehead and face. It was dark. He didn't want it to be dark. Too much darkness. 

"Shhhhh" Inara whispered to him. "Go back to sleep, it was just a nightmare." 

Mal turned his face to the sound of her voice, his mind reeling with images from the past six hours and his recent nightmare. 

"Kaylee...?" he managed to ask hoarsely. 

"She's fine. She's been having nightmares as well. You both have been through a lot." She noticed Mal relaxing slowly. They were silent for several minutes during which she kept stroking his hair. 

"How come you're practicing nurse tonight?" he asked sleepily. 

"It's guild law, didn't I ever tell you?" she smiled. "Every time there is a gentleman in distress we are to make sure he makes it through the night." 

"I got a dirty mind then. I thought a companion's nocturnal activities were more... adult oriented. And since when am I a gentleman?" She could hear the smile in his voice. 

"We are women of many trades." She stopped running her fingers through his hair and checked her watch--1:17am, time for another dose of medicine. 

"Don't stop" he breathed "'t feels nice." 

Inara looked at him, surprised at his sudden display of vulnerability. She never thought of him as the warm, cuddly type. It must be the drugs, she thought resuming her ministrations. Just when she thought he had finally fallen asleep, he spoke again. 

"When did you decide to become a companion?" 

The question took Inara by surprise and she wasn't sure what to reply. He waited patiently for her response. 

"I was about ten when my parents sent me to Sigma Training School in Ariel. It is one of the best schools in the Alpha quadrant. At the age of 17, I was accepted into the Academy and the rest, I guess, is history." They had never shared their pasts before. "When did you decide to become a pirate's ship captain and live your life running from the law, jumping from clandestine job to clandestine job?" She decided to tease him. 

"When I was about ten, my parents decided to send me to the best pirate school in the Alpha quadrant..." Inara nudged him and they both chuckled. 

"Wow, are we actually having a _friendly_ conversation here?" she asked grabbing two pills from a nearby counter and handing them to him with a cup of water. He sat up on the bed and took the medicine. Inara was starting to worry about the captain's docility. Mal hated being taken care of, much less being mothered, and yet, he had not complained once about taking those pills. 

"Mal?" 

"Mmmh?" he was leaning forward on a sitting position with his elbow resting on his knee. His eyes were closed. 

"What did you see back in town?" She was hesitant about asking that question; she wasn't even sure she wanted to know the answer herself. 

"Don't wanna talk about it" he replied softly, but sternly. His eyes were still closed. She kept looking at him, wondering what might be going through his mind--afraid to make things worse by pushing him into answering her questions. 

"I am worried about you." She finally said voice full of emotion. 

Mal turned his head and looked at her with heavy eyelids. She could see his eyes were dark through his long lashes. Their eyes locked for several seconds, electricity flowing throughout the close space between them, attraction present like the two opposite poles of a magnet. Their lips met in a soft kiss. Inara had wondered in several occasions what it would be like to kiss Malcom Reynolds. As a companion she had experience in such matters but she still was curious about the captain. Funny, she always imagined he would be a rough, aggressive kisser. She didn't expect this gentleness--this... tenderness. Their lips were barely moving over each others'. She could feel the temperature rising from her insides, giving her the sensation she was about to spontaneously combust. It was a strange feeling that she hadn't felt since... her first kiss. Her passion didn't go unnoticed by Mal. He started deepening the kiss, slowly exploring her mouth. His hand came to rest behind the soft skin of her neck, and she reciprocated by hungrily mirroring his actions. As suddenly as the kiss started, Mal broke contact, and distanced himself from her, both physically and emotionally. 

"I can't... we can't..." he wasn't even looking at her, choosing instead to fixate on a point somewhere on the floor. How could he explain to her his philosophy about getting emotionally involved with someone on his crew? He needed to keep a cool head. He had to make life and death decisions that could cost lives. If emotions were to interfere... 

He was the captain and could not allow himself to show any signs of weakness. 

"What are you afraid of?" she said in an accusing tone, frowning at him. 

He raised his head and looked at her in the eyes with a stare that could have frozen Hell. It made Inara shiver internally, and for a fraction of a second, she was afraid of him. They'd had clashes in the past, mostly annoying each other to the point of wanting to throw objects at one another, but she had never feared him. 

At that moment, she could feel his rage boiling inside him. He was about to say something when a loud cry startled both of them. It was Kaylee and she was having a particularly terrifying nightmare. Both Mal and Inara were at her side in a matter of seconds. 

"Go away! Get them off me!" Kaylee was desperately crying, swaying at imaginary objects above her head. Mal grabbed her hands in an attempt to wake her from the horror she was living. Inara was stroking her back hoping to calm her down. The youngster eventually relaxed and looked at them taking in her surroundings, her breath coming in short gasps. 

"We are here, sweetie." Inara said in a soft voice. "It was just a nightmare." 

"Not just a nightmare." The three turned towards the door to see River standing barefooted in the doorway, her long white gown hanging loosely from her body and her long hair partly covering her face. Mal and Inara exchanged glances briefly not really knowing what to do, and not wanting to trigger an episode in the girl. 

"They will be here soon" she continued with tears in her eyes. She looked directly at Mal petrified "you have welcomed the darkness in. Now it'll claim you too..." 

Title: Inner Darkness (II)  
Author: Goldenthorn (goldenthorn74@yahoo.com) Featuring: Mal, Kaylee, Inara, Book, Wash, Jayne, Zoe, River, Simon Category: Mal / Inara (romance) - Simon / Kaylee (romance) Rating: R (for violence and adult situations) Summary: There is an evil lurking around Serenity and it is using the captain to carry out its plans. Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy and FOX do. I am just doing this for fun taking advantage of the show being on break. Not making a dime out of it. Hey! Everybody copes their own way. Acknowledgement: A very special thanks to Nola999 for her patience, help and support. Her feedback and suggestions were a life saver, thank you so much! Feedback: It is my first story ever, so it would be greatly appreciate it. Be brutal!! 

"They will be here soon" she continued with tears in her eyes. She looked directly at Mal petrified "you have welcomed the darkness in. Now it'll claim you too..." 

In the same spooky manner as she had appeared, the young girl turned on her tracks and vanished into the hallway, leaving Mal, Inara and Kaylee in shocked silence. 

"Is this the level of Hell where River haunts me, talking Gibberish for eternity until I become crazy myself?" Mal retorted finally with a smirk, raising his eyebrows. 

* * *

Mal poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down at the dining room table. He cherished the lonely environment of the living quarters, with its dim lights and peaceful silence. Serenity was excellently designed in that way. Everything was so accessible, and conveniently placed in a functional, decent sized package. He loved this ship ever since he saw it for the first time. He had always dreamed of someday sailing across the galaxy--free from the strict rules of the core--away from the bureaucracy of the central planets. 

His mind wandered to his childhood. During a winter night in Shadow, his older brother had dared him to sneak out of the ranch with him to go down to the caves near the river. The legend claimed that on the third moon of the seventh month, the spirits of the older settlers who died trying to defend their land from the new wave of colonists appeared that night. They haunted the nearby woods waiting for some daring souls to enter during twilight. 

"What's taking you so long? You 'fraid?" mocked the twelve year old boy to his younger sibling who was trying to keep up, following close behind him as they crossed the woods. 

"I ain't afraid!" 

"Told ya not to wear that stupid brown coat, Mal. It's slowing you down! Can't you wait until you grow into it to wear it?" 

The coat was originally Brad's, but the older boy never felt comfortable wearing the longer cut garment, choosing instead to wear his woolen jacket. 

"One day I'm gonna fight for the Independents in the War." The ten year old said proudly. 

"By the time they let you enlist; the War will be probably over." Little did the boy know, the War was barely starting. It would last over a decade after the youngsters' little escapade to the haunted caves in Shadow. 

"How much longer?" asked Mal panting from his recent run. 

"We just need to follow the stream for about a mile." 

"How long is a mile?" 

"Just follow me" 

"Yeah, but how long is it gonna take?" 

"Mal, stop naggin' me and hurry up!" 

After trailing quietly down river for a while, the boys finally came across the legendary rocks where the haunted caves supposedly existed. They both approached slowly, trying to find the entrance. They climbed the slippery rocks, nearly falling a couple of times. When they eventually found the hidden entrance to the caves, they looked at each other smiling in awe. 

"You go first." Brad was holding his flashlight down into the opening. 

"No way!" 

"You don't really believe in ghosts, do you?" 

"Do you?" the younger boy asked, voice trembling slightly. 

The two brothers were silent, looking at each other, trying to figure out where to go from there. So the caves did exist, after all. They were not a myth. Local folklore usually had scary little stories to intimidate little kids into behaving a certain way. 

Mal had heard of these creatures that were bound to the outer planets and would kill anything alive that would cross their paths. There were stories of entire villages being desecrated by such things, never leaving a witness behind to tell the tale. Some people said that in the unfortunate event you witnessed them in action, your fate would be to become one of them to be able to cope with the memories. Mal never bought into such a legend. The reavers were just folk stories told by grownups to have kids home before dark. 

Mal looked down at the cave; all he could see was darkness, deep and cold. A chill ran down his spine like a frozen spider trickling from the base of his neck quickly to his backbone. He felt the darkness for the first time then, and it petrified him. 

"Long night?" A deep voice coming from the doorway brought Mal out of his reverie. 

"Shepherd Book" he acknowledged quietly. 

"Mind if I join you?" The shepherd was already sitting across from the captain when he asked the question. 

"Be my guest." Mal took another sip from his coffee. 

"How are you feeling?" 

"Shiny!" 

"If you need to talk..." 

"I don't. But thanks." 

The Shepherd sat quietly in front of him for a couple of minutes before he started speaking in his usual baritone. 

"I know you worry about Kaylee. You feel the need to protect her. I don't think it is her you should be worrying about" 

"And what's that s'pposed to mean?" 

The preacher looked at him not sure which would be the best way to reach him. Nevertheless, he had the need to try. After a moment's silence, he continued: 

"The girl is in a state of shock. She is trying to sort through her emotions to be able to cope with this any way she can. It will take time, but she will get through this." The Shepherd leaned forward on his chair looking at Mal worriedly. "You, on the other hand..." 

"Me?" The captain couldn't help but smile. "You're concerned about me?" 

"You are more likely than her to let the darkness in, son. The way she perceives the world is what will get her through this. You didn't have to suppress the emotions that invaded her in order to deal with the horror. At least Kaylee could "sort" through her feelings to handle the situation better. Yours, however, have been pushed so far down your psyche that you no longer know what it is like to feel emotion." The preacher was looking at him intensely. "The reavers feed off that, making the darkness that exists inside you come up to the surface until it consumes you." 

"How the hell do you know so much about the reavers, preacher" Mal asked sardonically wondering how Book could have guessed what went on outside. "Or me, by that matter?" 

"I don't. But I do know about faith" 

At that point Mal leaned back on the chair with an audible sigh. Here we go; there was another level of Hell that he was probably bound to. He was just not sure that there would be enough of him to go around once he made it to Book's layered form of infernal eternity. 

"I'm sure I've told you before not to make me your personal mission, Shepherd. We believe in two very different Gods. Mine stopped getting involved in my life decades ago." 

"Do you believe that all of us coming together aboard Serenity happened by chance?" Book continued despite the captain's obviously increasing exasperation. "Do you really think it was a coincidence that you and Kaylee got out of there alive?" 

"No, preacher, it wasn't a coincidence" Mal retorted angrily raising his voice. "It was _me_ who told Kaylee to come to the village to get the part. It was _me_ who decided to go into the tavern before making the trade and it was _me_ who almost got us both killed! You wanna believe in a greater power at play here, why don't you ask Him next time to spare us from the whole ordeal!" Mal got up at that point, dumped the remaining coffee in the sink and started walking out. 

"Guilt, anger, resentment... these feelings will only drag you deeper and deeper into the darkness." The Shepherd's voice was calm. Mal turned around before exiting to look at the preacher, who was still sitting down at the table with his Bible right in front of him. 

"Is all I have left, Shepherd" Mal looked down with sad eyes at Book's holy companion and left. 

* * *

"Would you like me to brush your hair?" Inara was getting a blanket from a bottom drawer. 

"Would you?" Kaylee replied in a small voice. The companion smiled and produced a brush out of her bag. 

"I don't wanna fall back asleep. Do you mind if we go to your shuttle?" 

"I don't know, Kaylee, the doctor might want you to stay here for observation." 

"Please..." Inara found it impossible to say no to her. 

"Ok, but promise me you will try to sleep for a little while longer in my shuttle." 

Kaylee smiled and nodded. She really liked Inara, she was like an older, more sophisticated sister that she could look up to. She could tell her anything, and the companion would never think of her as silly or immature, unlike the rest of the crew sometimes who just saw her as a little girl. Inara knew how to treat her as a young woman. 

The shuttle was their preferred place of conversation. They had spent countless nights talking about exciting places, and mysterious rich men to whom Inara had offered her services. Kaylee was absolutely at awe at the companion's glamorous life, feeling disappointed sometimes with the lack of detail in her stories when it came to her clients. Inara had said it several times before "a companion never discusses her clients." Still it was those missing bits of information within the stories that intrigued Kaylee the most. 

Once in Inara's shuttle, Kaylee climbed under the covers of the bed feeling the soft fabric on her skin and picturing herself as a wealthy lady. Inara sat down on the bed behind her and started brushing her hair. 

"Simon seemed really worried about you." Inara started saying trying to instill happy thoughts into Kaylee's mind. 

"Really? What did he say?" Kaylee wondered expectantly. 

"Well, first of all he examined you to see if you were ok." 

"Oh, darn. I don't remember that part!" Inara smiled when she noticed that her plan was working. 

"Don't worry, you are not out of the woods yet. There'll be other opportunities for you to play the nice little patient." They both giggled. 

"Did he say or do anything else?" the young girl asked curiously, not wanting to miss any of the details when it came to the handsome doctor. 

"He said he will come to check on you at 3 am, so I'd better go back to the infirmary in an hour to let him know where his patient is. One of them at least..." 

"The captain!" Kaylee realized in a flash, sitting up on the bed with a start. "Is he ok? Where is he?" her heart was beating fast now. 

"Relax, he is ok, he walked out on Simon even before you did" Inara reassured her, a slight trace of pain in her voice. Kaylee relaxed back into the bed, but remained quiet for a while during which time a series of horrifying images flashed in her mind. She closed her eyes and tried to think of something else. Happy thoughts. It was hard to shake the images out of her head, so she started concentrating hard on Inara's brush strokes. Happy thoughts. Brush stroke. Happy thoughts. Deep breath. Simon... Kaylee pictured the object of her obsession working around the infirmary, a smile forming on her lips. 

"You ok?" Inara asked, worried about the girl's prolonged silence. 

"Yeah, I'm just getting sleepy." 

"Why don't you lie down for a while, I'll be right here with you." 

Kaylee placed her head on one of the companion's soft pillows and wrapped herself in the silky covers. Happy thoughts, she inwardly said with a smile. Simon's face was her last mental picture before falling into a peaceful slumber. 

* * *

Alone. He was finally alone. It took him a while to reassure Wash and Zoe that he was fine and that they could leave their posts. 

Zoe kept giving him disapproving glances, lecturing him on the risks lack of rest would do to a person's decision making abilities, while Wash checked and re-checked forty buttons and dials throughout the cockpit. When they finally retired to their bunks, Mal sat back in one of the chairs and put his feet up; sighing in relief he looked out the window. It was pitch black out--the nights in this place were just as dark as the ones in Shadow. 

* * *

"Can you see anything?" Mal shone the flashlight around the walls of the cave to discover a fairly tight space, walls enclosing all around him. The place could not have been bigger than the kitchen pantry back at the ranch. 

"Nothing" he told his brother who was looking down at him from outside the entrance of the cave. "It is just a small space, no tunnels, no hidden exits... no ghosts, Brad" Mal said mockingly to lighten up the moment and feel more at ease. The weight of fear was still trying to overcome him. 

"Hold on, I'm coming down." 

"Why, there ain't nothin' here." 

"I wanna see for myself." 

"Fine, then I'm climbing back up, I don't like this place Brad, I wanna go back home." Mal said with a sick feeling in his stomach. 

"Man, you're such a baby!" 

In their little conversation they failed to realize that slowly crickets had stopped chirping, owls had ceased howling and the lonely river stream was the only sound daring to break the midnight silence. A chilling scream resonated through the woods and shattered the night's sky. 

Never in his life had Mal heard such an infernal racket. It was certainly something he would never forget. He remained petrified inside the cave, his feet suddenly too heavy to move. The air was so thick to breathe in, he was finding it very hard to get oxygen into his lungs. 

Outside, he heard his brother's panicked cry. He detected frantic movements above as if a rabid animal had taken a hold of the boy, shaking his body in brutal thrusts from side to side as a rag doll. The child's screams stopped sharply, and a quiet thud resonated not three feet away from where Mal was standing in the cave. 

Several minutes went by. Silence enveloped the cave and its surroundings as the young boy stood there, shivering uncontrollably. He tried to speak but his vocal cords failed him repeatedly. Eyes wide, he switched the flashlight back on and found his brother's eyes looking directly at him with an empty stare, head resting on the ground. 

"B-brad!" he called out with a shaky voice. He directed the beam of light towards the boy's neck to discover the rest of his body was missing. Seconds later the world blacked out around him. 

* * *

Mal ran his fingers through his hair, got up from his sitting position and stood in front of the window. There he found a tired looking man staring straight back at him. His eyes were intense with dark circles under them, making him look sinister, almost evil. It took him a moment to realize it was his own reflection. He mumbled something in Mandarin and took a step closer to the window to examine the figure more closely, taking in every detail inch by inch. A smile started forming slowly on the lips of his reflection. The smile turned to a chuckle, leading to an uncontrollable laughter bordering on hysterical, making his side wound throb. He could not stop laughing, as much as he tried to pin point what the source of his amusement might be. He failed. 

"Welcome to Riverland!" he managed to get out in between chuckles. 

His laughter subsided after a while and he turned serious again. He directed his attention back at the window where his image greeted him once more. Standing there, beyond the realm of the window, the specter began to speak. 

<What do you want?> it said. 

"I don't know" Mal replied slightly bewildered. 

<I can tell you> the image continued. <You wanna get rid of the nightmares, the ones that have been haunting you for years. You thought they were over, but they have come back, and I am here to tell you that they'll always be here with you.>

"You're lying." 

His reflection laughed making a low and evil sound. 

<You know I'm not. You also know what you need to do.>

"I would never do it." 

<It is the only way.>

"NO!" 

<She has to die, Mal. You wouldn't want her to become one of us, would you?>

Mal's head was spinning, he felt feverish and his eyes were beginning to water. He looked back up at his reflection and said through clenched teeth: 

"I will never allow Kaylee to become one of you." 

* * *

Simon was crouching down withdrawing some small medicine boxes out of a drawer in the infirmary. 

"I guess you're gonna have to start making house calls, Doctor." Mal said leaning against the door frame. His voice surprised the other man to the point of making him drop the items he was holding. 

"Captain..." Simon sighed in relief picking up the medicine from the floor. Mal looked down at him but did not move. 

"Didn't mean to startle you there." 

"It's... I just didn't expect you to be standing there." 

"I came to check up on Kaylee." 

"Inara took her to her shuttle" the younger man replied. "She seemed more comfortable over at her place. I was just heading over there to see how she's doing." 

"Inara..." Mal repeated slowly, pronouncing every syllable of her name. Simon nodded slightly confused at the captain's strange behavior. 

"Are you ok?" the doctor asked suspiciously standing in the middle of the room with his hands full. 

"I am... quite fine, thank you." Mal said in a soft voice, stepping inside the infirmary and strolling casually towards one of the counters. 

"Well, I am going to see Kaylee now" the doctor said feeling slightly uncomfortable. Mal was with his back to him at this point, looking at the instruments on top of the counter. 

"I'm going with you" he said calmly, picking up a scalpel from the counter and tucking it in his back pocket without Simon ever noticing. 

* * *

"She has been sleeping undisturbed for over an hour now." Inara said looking down at her young guest. 

"The medicine should knock her out until the morning" Simon said checking her pulse. He was glad Kaylee was back safely, he had not realized how strong his feelings were for the young mechanic until she had gone missing. He had been pacing Serenity thinking of all the things he had never told her, regretting his proper ways that had prevented him from acting upon his feelings sooner. Now she was back, and he would take the first chance he had to make sure she knew how much he cared. 

He caressed her cheek, seemly unaware of the fact that he was not alone in the room. Inara took this as a cue to give them some privacy and looked over at Mal, who was leaning against the wall in the entrance of the shuttle, arms crossed over his chest. 

"Mal, may I have a word with you in the hallway?" 

They stepped out leaving Simon and Kaylee alone in the shuttle. Once outside Inara put her back against the railing and looked up at Mal, sighing she asked: 

"Are we ok?" 

"Why wouldn't we be ok?" he replied with a somber face standing against the opposite railing. 

"You tell me. You are the one who turned into an ice cube right in the middle of what I consider a very passionate kiss, and believe me, my standards are quite high." 

"They must be. It ain't like you lack the experience." 

"Don't try to turn this on me or my job" she stated firmly. "You were just a party to that kiss as I was." 

"What can I say? If I had known earlier you were servicing the crew now..." His comment earned him a slap across the face before he could even finish the sentence. He turned his face back to look at her, blood boiling inside of him. He grabbed her wrists forcefully pinning them against the railing behind her at each side of her waist, towering over her purposely invading her space. She looked back up at him defiantly, not giving him the pleasure of showing him her fear. They were both breathing hard, standing so close they could feel each other's chest raise and fall with every breath. 

<She's becoming a problem, Mal. You cannot allow those feelings to come up to the surface. You might have to get rid of her as well.>

"Shut up!" he said out loud closing his eyes and loosening his tight hold on Inara's wrists. When he came back from the spell he found a pair of questioning black eyes looking up at him. Mal took a step back briefly breaking eye contact. 

"Inara, I think is best we don't find ourselves alone together having intense conversations like this one for a while..." 

"Mal, what is going on?" she asked determined to get to the bottom of it. He wanted to trust her, wanted to tell her all about the reavers, his childhood, the voices in his head, his fears. He wanted to confide in her, tell her everything. She knew he was at the verge of telling her what was bothering him so much. She could not push him or she knew she will lose her chance forever. 

"Do me a favor" he said finally. 

"What?" 

"Don't leave me alone with Kaylee." 

* * *

Inara had been lying on the bed next to Kaylee ever since Simon left, pondering on her most recent conversation with the captain. There was something wrong with him, of that she was certain. Of course, acting in a strange manner was not foreign to Mal's ways, but not like this. There was something dark, darker than usual, at work in the way he was acting. 

"What happened to you two out there?" she whispered looking at the sleeping form beside her. Two candles were lit on her nightstand, their flickering flames making glowing rings on the ceiling. Inara closed her eyes, just to rest them for a while, enjoying the warm comfort of the bed. Shortly after, she was asleep. 

A dark figure waited patiently outside the room. Quietly, like a predator, he walked into the shuttle, eyes trained on the young mechanic's still form on the bed. He curled his fingers around the cold metal handle of the scalpel, bringing it out of his pocket slowly. 

* * *

A lot of people came to the funeral, mostly friends and family members, but there were also people there who Mal did not recognize. They were all gathered around the casket. "Paying their respects" he had heard a number of them say, whatever that meant. Everybody was dressed in dark colors, a few ladies were wearing kimonos, but for the most part they were in plain suits and dresses. Observing the cluster of people, Mal could not help but be reminded of a swarm of insects, roaches, all black and repulsive. Three days had gone by since the tragedy at the cave, and Mal had yet to mourn his brother's passing. He had not shed one tear for him, and the thought of it disturbed him. He glanced over to see his mom, probably the strongest person he knew, trying unsuccessfully to hold back tears. The priest had been delivering his sermon for a while now, kept saying something about the Lord's Kingdom while everybody bowed their heads and prayed in silence. 

The whole scene was making Mal sick to his stomach. How dare they pray for a God--the same God who ripped his brother from their lives in such a way? It was a gloomy day. The sky itself threatened to cry for the young life that had been lost, while the wind seemed to chant a funereal melody to accompany the murmur of the crowds' continuing prayers. It was a frigid day. It was the day Malcom Reynolds lost his faith in God. 

* * *

Once at the edge of the bed, he contemplated how to proceed with the task at hand. He looked at the tool in his hand, carefully tracing his thumb over the side of the blade in a sort of ritualistic way. He lowered it gently until the edge of the sharp blade came to rest on Kaylee's ivory neck. 

<One quick slit and the job will be done> the voice was becoming more convincing by the second. <She will be free, Mal. You have to do it!> He pressed the scalpel against her neck drawing a drop of blood without even waking her up. 

<It is now or never. DO IT!> Despite the voice's insistence, Mal could not bring himself to finish the job. 

"I... I can't" his words were barely a whisper. His hand was shaking slightly and he could notice the last traces of his resistance wavering. He dropped the scalpel to the floor and rushed out of the shuttle. He went into the bridge-way grabbing a tight hold of the railing to which he had pinned Inara not even an hour ago. 

<If you can't finish the job, then we will.>

Mal's thoughts traveled to the companion, her body, the way she moved, her face, her smile. He started feeling a little bit more in control of his actions. Funny, other times those same thoughts would send his mind and his senses reeling and now, they were grounding him, bringing him back from the dark place. He took deep breaths, trying with all his might to get a hold on reality again. 

The words of Shepherd Book popped into his mind 'your feelings have been pushed so far down that you don't know what it is to feel emotion'. 

<It is too late, Mal. We are already here.> At that moment Mal heard something outside the cargo bay. It was a distant sound at first, yet getting louder by the second. 

<Let us in!>

* * *

Inara woke up at the sound of something falling next to the bed. She opened her eyes noticing a figure leaving the shuttle in a hurry. She had a strong feeling that, whatever it was going on that night, Mal was in no condition to handle it. There was only one thing she could do at that point. 

Inara was on her way to wake up Zoe, crossing over the bridge of the cargo bay when she heard the noises outside. It sounded like a hollow tapping at first. Gradually, the sound grew into a loud thumping noise accompanied by scratching. It was becoming more desperate--incessant. She looked down at the gate wondering what it might be. Some-thing was trying to get inside Serenity and it had no sign of giving up. Then she saw him, climbing down the stairs, walking past the cargo boxes towards the gate controls. She could not believe what she was seeing--he was going to actually open the ramp! 

"Mal!" she shouted from the top. "What are you doing?" she asked totally confused. "We don't know what's out there." 

Mal looked up, eyes dark, unrecognizable, his gaze so intense it made her shiver. He did not say anything, just kept on walking. 

"Mal!" 

This time she came running down the stairs in an attempt to stop him. 

"Are you crazy?" She was almost at the bottom of the stairs when he swiftly drew his gun and aimed it directly at her. 

"Don't come any closer." His voice was so low and calm it made her stop in her tracks, frozen. Oh, God, he was serious! 

* * *

River's body was shaking. Sheer fear did not allow her to scream or even move. Her small hands were covering her face, not wanting to see the horror nor feel the chill that threatened to freeze her from the inside out. 

At the same time Kaylee shifted in Inara's bed, sweat damping her forehead. She was having a vivid nightmare; one she could not wake up from, too real to shake off. 

* * *

<You have to shoot her, she'll ruin everything.> Mal unlatched the security clip charging the gun automatically. 

"Mal... please..." Inara said with a shaky voice. Mal just looked at her though she felt as if he was actually looking through her. She barely even recognized him. 

With all the calm she could muster, she took another step forward. His face had a blank expression, his right arm extended with his index finger set on the trigger. The only thing that indicated an inner struggle was the labored raise and fall of his chest. She bravely inched toward him, their eyes intensely locked on each other. The pounding outside would not stop, setting her nerves even more on edge. 

"You are playin' with fire" he stated. This time she noticed that his voice was quivering, although it was almost imperceptible. 

"I know" she mouthed, not daring to speak the words out loud. She was scared, that was a fact, but she would not give up on him. Pounding. Thumping. Scratching. 

<There's not much time left. Pull-the-trigger.> The voice's desperation was evident by its urgent tone. A drop of sweat ran down Mal's temple dampening his hair. He swallowed hard and licked his lips, his mouth felt as dry as sand paper. 

<Pull - the - trigger!!> His breath was becoming more ragged by the second. Inara took yet another step forward--they were barely two feet apart now. She could perfectly touch the weapon still trained on her. 

"I believe in you, Mal" she whispered. She did not notice the tears streaming down her face. Something changed in his expression at that point--she could see it in the way he was looking at her--his eyes softening from a dark, cold depth to a milder shade of blue. She noticed his arm relax slightly and his stance became less threatening. The internal battle he was fighting became bluntly apparent to her at that moment. Pounding. Constant pounding. 

"Mal..." her voice was supplicant. 

<No! Do not listen to her!>

The voice started fading away, he could still feel it, but no longer could he understand the actual words. It sounded like a distant dream, not so real anymore. 

In a bold move, Inara reached out and grabbed the gun, gently pulling it out of his hand. She had never held a gun before, it was cold and heavier than she expected. He didn't put up a fight, but rather stood in front of her, his eyes still focused on hers, although not really seeing her. He seemed to be in some sort of a trance... 

The pounding and thrusting outside did not cease, but it did sound more distant. It was fading away slowly. Her free hand reached up to cup his face. 

"Wake up." 

Gradually his stare became less dazed, and when he finally blinked, he found her standing in front of him. 

"Inara...?" he asked clearly confused. 

He had a dreamy look on his face and his long eyelashes were darker now in contrast with the natural color of his eyes. His lips were slightly parted and his hair was sticking up in different directions. He looked like a little boy, she thought. She could not help smiling up at him, relieved. 

"Welcome back" she whispered. The scratching outside had faded into the background--neither of them were bothered by the noises any longer. 

It was as if time had stopped, and no one else existed in the world. No voices, no reavers, not even human souls. Just them, alone. This time it was Mal who leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her body, burying his face in her hair. She let go of the gun as gently as she could realizing full well it was still loaded. The weapon fell on the ground making a loud metallic sound as it hit the floor. 

Inara could feel Mal shaking in her arms. It took her several seconds to realize he was silently crying, his sobs wrecking through his body. His arms were pressing her hard against his chest, raising her up to the point where her feet were barely touching the ground, until he finally collapsed to his knees bringing her down along with him. They held each other for a long while. 

As the sun started rising outside, so did the darkness that for so long had been crushing his heart, and he cried for the first time in years. He cried for his long lost brother, for Kaylee, for himself... They were silent the whole time, even after his sobbing ceased and his breathing evened out. Rays of sunshine were now piercing through the skylights of the cargo bay, bathing them in their warmth. 

"Don't tell the others about this" he pleaded when he finally released her, not able to look at her in the eyes. When she did not respond, he glanced up at her and what she saw on her face erased all traces of shamefulness he had felt seconds before. He saw understanding, friendship, loyalty... love? Before his rational self could interfere in any way he pulled her into a kiss, raw and hard, determined to taste every inch of her mouth. 

His impulsive action took her by surprise, so she just stood still, unable to react at first. This time she knew it was _him_ and not some stranger. She found his demeanor oddly familiar as she recalled countless numbers of day dreams and fantasies. As amazing as it was, it was unsettling. Being a companion she was used to staying always in control of the situation, always leading all the actions. Some of her clients expected this behavior from her, yet others didn't even realize she was doing it. 

At this point she felt completely at his mercy, utterly out of control. It was nerve wracking and exciting at the same time. The rush, the unpredictability... she was loosing herself in him. As for him, he didn't hold anything back this time. It was an emotional overload that was making his heart ache with need, with longing. All the years of repressed feelings were released in one kiss. He had taken a big risk, and he knew it. All the barriers were now gone, leaving him emotionally naked. 

"When you guys are done smoochin', there's a part we need us to get." It was Jayne's deep voice that brought them back to reality. They broke off the kiss and looked up to see Jayne with a wicked smile on his face. 

* * *

Serenity had left their last landing spot two days ago. Finding the spare part in Hera had not been a problem after all. The local junk yard had recently acquired an older Firefly model that shared the same parts Serenity was missing. Everything seemed to be back to normal in the black. 

River and Kaylee were playing some board game in the common area, while Book read his Bible sitting at the dining room table. Simon was beside him, apparently studying some charts. 

Zoe and Wash walked into the room laughing at some private joke. 

"Hi, Kaylee, you look much better now" Zoe said smiling. 

"I feel much better, thanks" the girl responded returning her smile. The color had returned to her cheeks and her eyes had that special sparkle back. 

"Something smells good in here!" Wash chimed in sniffling around. 

"I decided to stay busy this afternoon, and made some dumplings" Kaylee said standing up to fetch her creation from the oven. 

"You guys should try them." Simon raised his head from the chart he was examining. "You never told us you were such a great cook, Kaylee." 

"There are many things you don't know about me, Doctor" Kaylee stated trying to capture Inara's mysterious tone. Wash and Zoe exchanged a knowing glance grinning. 

"Going to bed now" River yawned looking tired. 

"I'll take you to your room, Mei-Mei" Simon offered. 

"I'll go with you" Kaylee could not keep the urgency out of her voice. 

The three of them started walking towards the living quarters in silence, their steps resonating throughout the corridors of the now familiar ship. Once in River's room, Kaylee gave the siblings a small smile and turned around to leave. She had a lot of things to say to the young doctor but not enough courage to bring them up. 

"Kaylee, wait!" Simon ran out into the hallway behind her. She turned around, hopeful. He hesitated for a second, not knowing where to start. He had promised himself he would tell her how much she meant to him, how much he cared. It was hard to get the words out now while standing in front of her. She was looking back at him with her eyes wide open and her heart racing. 

"I... I just wanted to say..." he gulped rubbing his neck uncomfortably. 

"Yes?" she encouraged. 

"I am really glad that you are back" he finally said, eyes darting back and forth looking away from her. 

"I have been back for over two days, Simon" she responded amused at his fidgeting. 

"I know. What I mean is... what I wanted you to know was..." he was having a hard time finishing the sentence. In a quick move she stepped forward and gave him a quick kiss on the lips, stunning him. 

"I know" she said with a smile. She turned around and walked away leaving a frozen Simon standing alone outside River's room not quite knowing what to do. A thousand butterflies were roaming around her stomach. She wondered whether she had floated rather than walked to her room. 

"Your move, Doctor" she said to herself once she was back in her bunk. She could not stop smiling. 

* * *

"You busy?" Inara turned around to see Mal strolling into her shuttle. 

He didn't quite have his old look back. She missed that relaxed arrogance in his stance. He looked weary and serious. They hadn't seen each other much since that strange night. Both he and Kaylee had spent most of the past two days getting a much needed rest. Some times, especially during dinner, she would get the impression that he was avoiding her. He would pick at his meal deep in thought, not really eating much and talking even less. The rest of the time he had spent it in his bunk, making only the occasional trip to the cockpit to exchange a few words with Zoe or Wash. She figured he had a lot of issues to sort through, they both did. 

Normally she would have chided him for entering her shuttle without her permission, but she was actually glad to see him this time. She was also a little anxious. She had been shaken by the kiss they had shared to the point of deterring her from searching for future clients. She just could not bring herself to share that type of intimacy with anyone else right now. The flirting stage was over--in a way she missed it. Things had become complicated between them and there was no turning back. 

"Mal. How are you feeling?" she asked softly. 

"Better" he deadpanned. "Things are back to normal and we are back on course. Should be gettin' to Persephone in about a week. You should be glad to be goin' back to a 'civilized society'." He spoke in a quiet voice, not giving away any of his emotions. 

"I would think that, for once, you must be glad to be going back to civilization yourself." 

"Yeah, can't wait to be invited to the next big party." He smiled sarcastically, remembering his last grand appearance. Mal looked at her, thinking of what to say next. He hesitated, feeling the room getting really warm, so he opted to stay on neutral ground. 

"Well, you probably have lots of things to do, y'know, contact clients and such" he stated in a forced casual tone. "Best I start checking on the crew." He was feeling like a schoolboy on his first date--nervous and insecure--trying to hide his emotions from the cute girl next door and failing miserably. Inara did not have much trouble reading his body language. She was a little more graceful herself, but she was having the very same feelings. 

"Mal..."  
"Inara..." they both spoke at the same time. 

"Ladies first" he said, relieved at the opportunity for her to take the initiative. Coward! He thought to himself. 

"I need to tell you something and I am afraid that if I don't say it now I never will" Inara said in a rush before losing her courage. He could feel his heart rate speeding up. God it was hot in that gorram shuttle! He swallowed and took in a deep breath crossing his arms over his chest in a defensive stance. 

"Do I need to sit down for this?" he asked trying to feel more at ease against her penetrating stare. Whatever she was going to say it was going to be intense. 

"Please." She made a gesture for him to sit at the red divan in the corner while she went to get two glasses and a bottle of wine from one of the cabinets. Real--wine. It was one of the most expensive white wines in the core--probably a gift from one of her clients. 

"What are we toastin' for?" he asked after filling both glasses and handing one to her. 

"To an unforgettable kiss" she hesitantly said after a pause, blushing slightly. 

She was afraid to look at him, fearing her blunt statement will send him running out the door before she could even take her first sip. His silence was unnerving her so she decided to raise her head to look at him. He was looking back at her with an unreadable expression on his face. She could have sworn he looked amused. 

Then he did something totally unexpected. He touched his glass to her in a toast and said: "To many more to come." 

They both took their first sip not breaking eye contact. Inara reached out and took his hand, caressing the back of it with her thumb tenderly. She felt him tense up at the sign of intimacy. He was not used to romance or any form of emotional closeness. This was going to be fun, she thought smiling. She placed her glass on the small coffee table and stood up pulling his hand to have him follow her. When they reached the side of the bed she pushed his chest gently, forcing him to sit on the corner. 

"What are you doin'?" he asked looking up at her with a wicked smile playing on his lips. 

"I think you are now ready for emotional therapy" she said with the sexiest voice he had ever heard. She sat on his lap straddling his hips with her legs, and switched off the side lamp. The flame of the seven candles illuminating the room were the only witnesses to their first "therapy session". 

The End. 

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